The scene opens at Seven Sisters High School, in the bicycle area. Our intrepid Brown-haired Silent Protagonist is fixing a motorcycle.

???: ...?
[Two other boys walk up.]
SMARTASS STUDENT: Yo... you going home now? 
[??? turns to look at him.]
DUMBASS STUDENT: Heh heh! That piece of crap isn't going anywhere. Not without this.
[Dumbass Student holds out his hand and shows an engine piece.]
SMARTASS: You gonna ignore us? That dead expression of yours really pisses me off. Don't get so cocky!
[Tatsuya flicks his lighter and turns around. Suddenly the screen flashes and he drops to one knee, looking startled.]
???: ...?!
SMARTASS: H-hey,what's wrong with you?
VOICE OF SOMEONE: Take...my hand...
DUMBASS: W-what's with the weird look? Hey, this guy's sweating like crazy.
VOICE OF SOMEONE: Do not fear...I am thou. Thou art--
???: ...?!
[The camera rotates to show us Principal Hannya by the door.]
(Takashi Hanya: A principal who transferred from St. Hermelin Academy. At Hermelin he was hated and had the nickname "Hannya," but he is popular at Seven Sisters High School.)
HANNYA: Hey, you there! Just what are you doing, you retards? School got out a long time ago!
SMARTASS STUDENT: P-Principal Hannya! Yes, sir! We were just going home to study! L-let's get going! [runs away]
DUMBASS STUDENT: [stops next to ??? and holds out his hand] Here, take it back! See ya!
HANNYA: Yeah, get out of here! Ha ha ha ha! Really puts you in a good mood!
[He walks over to ???.]
HANNYA: You too! You're not listening to what I'm saying, are you?
[??? looks up at him but doesn't say anything.]
HANNYA: Why won't they listen to me? They're impossible! Hey, you little punk! Who are you? What's your year and class? Tell me your full name! What are you waiting for?

??? finishes with his bike and stands up, and you get the Name Entry screen. There are three names to enter: his family name, his first name, and his nickname. His first name will be displayed in the menus and battle screens. The first line has the default last name "Suou" on it. The line next to it is the default first name "Tatsuya." The line under those two is the nickname. The default nickname is "Tacchan." If you want to change any of the names, just move the triangle cursor to the right and it'll turn into a blue box you can select characters with. Push the square button to go back and forth between the three names. Push the circle button to select things. Push the X button to erase things. This script proceeds assuming you haven...t changed his name from the default. The list of options on the left is as follows:
- Hiragana
- Katakana
- Kanji [Chinese characters]
- Western characters [Roman alphabet]
- Toggle Name [switch between the three names]. Same function as the square button.
- Enter name [choose this when you're done.]
You'll be taken to the "Is this okay?" screen. Pick the top option, which is "Yes."

HANNYA: Oh, no wonder... So you're that Tatsuya Suou I've heard rumors about. If you're also the cause of that weird feeling I had in the hallway a bit ago, then I understand... Seems like you're even more of a problem child than I'd heard. Heh heh. Well, anyway. He has some personal guidance waiting for you. You should make sure you enjoy what's left of your youth.
[He walks offscreen, and another student enters.]
MALE STUDENT: Hey, that sucked, huh? Even so, Principal Hannya is a really great guy! I'd listen to him.
[Tatsuya looks at him.]
MALE STUDENT: Don't glare at me like that. I just came to tell you that Saeko-sensei is looking for you. Aren't you just running away from her guidance? She's the bold type who might follow you all the way home, so I think you should just go meet with her and get it out of the way.

[You can now control Tatsuya.]
 

If you're in a hurry to advance the plot and don't want to talk to everyone, here's what you have to do. Talk to everyone in the hall on the first floor, then the second floor, and then the third floor. Don't forget to get the item boxes in the right-side hallways [two antidotes on the second floor, ¥1000 on the third floor]. Then go down to the first floor again and go out to the courtyard and talk to Ideal-sensei. Go all the way back out to the bike area where you started the game and you'll finally find Saeko-sensei, who cleverly staked out your motorcycle. Skip the next section if you want to know what she says.
 

[Bike Area]
MALE STUDENT: This Soejima bike--you maintain it yourself, right, Suou? Guess the rumor that you're a really good mechanic is true.
BANDAGED GIRL: Bad luck, huh, Suou-senpai? But it's strange how Principal Hannya is so popular, isn't it? He really ticks me off, too, and yet I like him. Why is that?
GIRL STUDENT: Suou-senpai? Eh? Whoa, this is so sudden...I-I don't know what to do...I'm not sure I'm ready for this yet...b-but if it's you, then I guess it's all right...huh? Saeko-sensei? Oh. Well, I think she's up in the faculty lounge on the second floor...[sigh] that's right, I was just...

[CLASSROOM 1-D]
FEMALE STUDENT: "Seven Sisters High School" is a strange name, isn't it? Sumaru City's name comes from the constellation Subaru, so it seems the school's name comes from the seven sisters in the Subaru myth. However, since it's a long name, the nickname "Sevens" is easier. I think the design of our emblem is also pretty neat. It's supposed to be cursed, but I think that's bull.
BANDAGED BOY: Dammit! Where the hell did that Chikalin go? She's the chick in the Newspaper Club for this class, and she knows everything about the rumors here. She's got this nickname of "Rumormonger," so I think she might know something about this curse rumor. Maybe she went to the Peace Diner?
BASEBALL CLUB MANAGER GIRL: It's weird--even though that guy was always just a substitute... the way he suddenly went and hit a home run... now he's a Regular? It if were you, Suou-senpai, I'd understand because you have great reflexes, but he didn't even practice enough! It's so weird! Could he have somehow gotten some kind of bodybuilding surgery?
BASEBALL CLUB MEMBER: I got to be a Regular in the baseball club! Heh heh! I won't let them call me a substitute for a substitute anymore! Check me out, Pro Ball! Check me out, Anna!

[1-C]
MALE STUDENT: Suou-senpai! I have a life-or-death favor to ask! Nab me one of Kasu High's school badges--they keep evil away! Oh, come on. Those guys are bad, and they always knock our school. Nothing we can do about that...
GIRL STUDENT: I finally got a boyfriend! It's the totally cool guy I always wanted! Believing that rumor was the right thing to do after all!
BANDAGED MALE STUDENT: I heard the news, Suou-senpai. Seems like you've been targeted by Kasu High's Captain Underwear. Do us all a favor and shut him up! Senpai, he's some delinquent guy rumored to have pulled down the underwear of, like, ten guys in junior high, so you're not gonna lose to him, right?!
BANDAGED GIRL STUDENT: When it comes to Sevens, even though there are tons of cool guys... Suou-senpai, you're the Number-One Popular Guy, but somehow, the curse awakening... that gives me a totally awful feeling...

[Hallway, Lobby Area]
MALE STUDENT: Do you know about the popular new charm called "Joker-sama?" There's a rumor that if you perform it, you'll get your most precious wish granted. I wanna try it too. By the way, what's wrong? You're looking for someone? Saeko-sensei? Let's see... just now I saw her on the stairs. Why don't you try the second floor?
FEMALE STUDENT: Suou-senpai, aren't you supposed to be meeting Saeko-sensei? She was looking for you. Wouldn't it be for the best if you went to meet with her?

[Courtyard] 
GIRL: Hey, hey! Suou-kun! Have you heard the rumor that this statue of the principal moves around on its own? I like the principal a lot, but that's really creepy. If it started moving, I'd destroy it! It's not because I don't like the principal--he's strict and obnoxious and a good person.
STATUE: <The Great Hanya - A statue in praise of a principal and educator> ["Look at me! Praise me! Don't depend on me!!" are the contradictory annoying words written on it. When you look at it, somehow it seems to be extremely offended.]
HANNYA: Aren't you the one running away from guidance for your future? Fu fu fu...that's fine. Your dream isn't going to come true anyway. "There is no granting the wishes of a person who is burdened with stars that will snatch away his dreams." That's what I was told to say to people. It certainly applies to your fate. Ha ha ha!
MALE STUDENT: You know Ideal-sensei? Hasn't she worked here for, like, 11 years? She always says weird stuff, but lately she won't calm down about this 'oracle,' or something.
???: Hmm...no special transformation today either...it's got the same strange magnetic field as usual...it'd be great if we could just make it through this month, but...
(Maya Okamura: Lisa's Japanese History and Home Room teacher. She's come to be called "Ideal-sensei." She seems to be doing some kind of unusual research...)
IDEAL-SENSEI: Hm? Aren't you the one in Saeko-sensei's class who--don't get to close to the Narurato Stone! I don't know what it could do to you.
IDEAL-SENSEI: [after talking to everyone in the hall on floors one, two and three] Eh? Saeko-sensei? Hmm...I didn't really notice, but...maybe she's somewhere else?
NARURATO STONE: A huge rock discovered when the school was first constructed. The stone is made out of samatite, but an unusual magnetic field has been detected around it. Legends say an evil spirit known as Naruratohotefu was sealed into the rock by Saint Hilemon.

[1-A]
MALE STUDENT: Eep! Suou-senpai! Omigosh, you're actually talking to me! I'm so excited I can't feel my legs! Senpai, you're so cool and manly! I really admire you. By the way, have you heard of the Joker-sama Charm? The story is that it'll make your ideal desires into reality... If I do it, maybe can become like you?
FEMALE STUDENT: I'm so happy! I'm so happy! The freckles I always hated have disappeared! This must be thanks to that charm I did!
BANDAGED GIRL: Please don't stare at me! I didn't even want to come to school looking like this,but our beloved principal told me not to stay home.
BANDAGED BOY: The school festival is coming up soon, huh? I heard there are a ton of girls coming because of you, but this year it's impossible for me, huh. With my face like this... I was thinking I'd take all your leftovers, but now... and after all the trouble I went to get into this school for the festival...

[School Employee Room]
JANITOR: What was his name again--that teacher who died in the clock tower? Ever since then, the big clock's been stopped. How many years has it been already? It was such a horrible way to die. Hm...what was I talking about? I guess I should go eat...
NURSE: Hohoho. Grandpa is so funny! Isn't he satisfied after he's eaten so many times? It's because he really does forget everything. Since I'm always here watching Grandpa, if you hurt yourself, you should come here.
[Yes, the poster of the idol singer still says something about the mouth of the poster being sticky.]

[Staff Room, right over the janitor's office]
ASOU-SENSEI: I see. You're saying Joker-sama made you smart. So you're not cheating. I see. So, how were you cheating?
BOY: You're being so unfair! No matter how many times I've gotten red marks on my papers until now, that's still really mean of you! Why would I be cheating? I've been born again! I can recite pi to the 1000th place right now!
ASOU-SENSEI: I see. How about you try saying it?
BOY: Okay, here I go! Pi Attack!! [recites insanely long string of numbers.] Huff...huff...that was tough...
ASOU-SENSEI: I see. Well, I teach English. Even though you said all that, I have no idea if you're right. So, how'd you cheat?

SOUKA-SENSEI: What's wrong, Suou? What? You're looking for Saeko-sensei? That's right, that's right! Ahhh, I'm so happy! So have you finally decided to think about your future? That's right! Saeko-sensei was headed for the first floor. It's your future, so go listen to her! Hah, that's right, wahaha! That's right!

[Hallway]
GIRL: [between 2-B and 2-C] Umm...Suou-senpai, are you going out with Lisa-san? It's just that I heard her saying something like that... oh, no particular reason, I just felt like asking... by the way, Senpai, what are you doing? Eh? Saeko-sensei? If that's the case, I think she's on the first floor. I just saw her going down the stairs.

[2-B] 
BANDAGED BOY: Who is it really, anyway? Eh? Who am I talking about? The Joker. There's this guy I know who used the Joker to raise his grades. If that's true, then maybe the Joker can cure this strange illness for me?
NORIKO: [the girl in white] Suou-senpai... good afternoon. Senpai. About this girl in your class... it's already been a while since Anna-senpai quit school, but I really wanted to go to this school with her. She really shone when she set a new record in the short sprint; she was so great then! And then that happened... Poor Anna-senpai...[sniff] Eh... heheh... hey, no crying! Okay! I'll take care of her shoes!
BOY: The students at Kasugayama High School in Hirasaka have a rivalry with our school. It's because our school is so far ahead that they can't hope to attain our popularity, test scores, or sports prowess. I hear there are also some students who've been conditioned to hate us. Well, since they're such hopeless dumbasses, that's why they're called Kasu High. [1]
GIRL: Noriko's gonna take care of Anna-senpai's shoes...that girl, she won't listen when we tell her Senpai's not coming back. Seems like even at night she searches the city for Anna-senpai. Suou-senpai, if you see Anna-senpai, please tell her not to give into despair. It's painful to see Noriko like this.
BANDAGED GIRL: Huhuhu, so you don't know who I am? Actually, I could be the world's most gorgeous girl, or something. Heheh...but it's unfortunate. My true form is an ugly duckling... that Joker-sama who grants wishes, his face also might not be what we expect. Well, he wears a mask, so nobody's ever seen his actual face.

[1] "Kasu" can mean garbage, scum, crap, feces, etc.

[2-C]
BANDAGED GIRL: Senpai, you'd even talk to someone like me? I'm glad I made myself come to school...eh? Saeko-sensei? I saw her on the first floor...
NEWSPAPER CLUB BOY: Our newspaper club leader, Hanaji [2], hasn't come back. She shot out like a bullet to investigate that curse rumor. I also haven't seen that freshman, Chikalin. Hmm... I'm kinda worried, because Hanaji said she was going to go and interview Kasu High students directly. Has she gotten herself into trouble again?
GIRL: Hmm... now that things are like this, I was thinking of going out with one of those nasty Kasu High guys. If I did that, maybe I could get myself one of their school badges that keep away evil... eh? You didn't know? The rumor is that even though our badges are cursed, Kasu High's are good luck charms. Now the tables have been turned when it comes to popularity. Kasu High is dominating us.
BANDAGED BOY: Se-se-senpai, you and L-L-Lisa-san are m-m-m-more than f-f-friends? If th-th-that's true, I'm jealous...really jealous...isn't L-L-L-Lisa-san a candidate for M-M-Miss Sevens? To keep someone like that all for y-y-yourself...
MAMI: [dark-haired girl]: [Mami Shibata: A student in Seven Sisters High School's class 2-C, nicknamed Asacchi. [2] A friend of Lisa's, they're always hanging out in a trio with Miho. Of the three of them, she is the calmest.] Huh? Suou-senpai...haven't you met up with Lisa? She's got this letter and is looking for you. When I say she has a letter--do you get it? So don't be cruel, okay? Even though she's crazy about you, you always give her the cold shoulder. If you make Lisa cry, I won't just keep my mouth shut...
MIHO: [Miho Ogishima: A student in Seven Sisters High School's class 2-C, nicknamed Miipo. A friend of Lisa's, she's always hanging out with her and Asacchi. Of the three, she is the noisiest.] Suou-senpai, it's just like Asacchi says! If you make Lisa cry, I'll cry too! That's 'cuz I'm her best friend!

[Principal's Office, right over the staff room]
BOY: Ack! What's with you, don't be so intimidating! Eh? No, it's just the Talking Mask. I was looking for it. I'm sure it's somewhere around here. Well, when I came here to clean, the principal was here. I saw him muttering to the mask. It was really strange. Is the principal hiding something?

[3-B]
BOY: Suou-kun, Saeko-sensei is looking for you. Eh? You're looking for her too? Then you came to the wrong place. Seems like Sensei went down to the first floor.
BANDAGED BOY: Yo, Suou! I just heard--is Monthly Coolest really coming here? They couldn't possibly be coming here to check you out, could they? Well, but you would be pretty popular with all the girls from other schools too, wouldn't you? Don...t worry, Stud! I won't let you be the target of envy. Oh--but you're pretty good in a fight too, aren't you?
BOY [Middle of the room]: Hey, Suou, you know that foreign chick, Lisa, from 2-C? The one who's always chasing after you? She's looking for you. She's really American, right? She's always yelling "achou," which is kinda strange, but her hair is really blonde. Isn't that cool? If I were you I'd totally go out with her.
BANDAGED BOY: Hey, have you seen Anna Yoshizaka? I saw her near a club, but lately she's been hanging out with all these dangerous people. When she ran track, her eyes looked dead. I kinda liked her, but she's gotten dangerous.
BANDAGED GIRL: What's going on? Even though I got ugly because of the curse, take a look at Youko, that girl you turned down for a date, Suou! She suddenly got really cute! What's up with that? Could it be Joker-sama? She used Joker-sama? Her?!
YOUKO: Heh heh...what do you think? I've become beautiful, haven't I? With this, it's decided--I'm gonna be this year's Miss Sevens. No way I'm losing to that foreigner Lisa! Dammit, what's with you? Don't you regret rejecting me now?! I can be cold to you too, you know! I'm really going to make you regret it!

[Hallway]
BOY: [between 3B and 3C] Yo, Suou, I hear you're targeted by Kasu High's Captain Underwear. Well, it seems like it's a pretty fair match, but be careful. Now that I think of it, isn...t there this rumor that Kasu High is behind the curse on our school's badge? I don't know if that's true or not though...what's that? Oh, you're looking for Saeko-sensei? I just saw her; she was going downstairs. Try the first floor.

[3-D]
MALE STUDENT: This Joker-sama thing is popular with the underclassmen right now, isn't it? Wonder if it's true...well, it's just a rumor I heard, you know? Doesn...t the Joker grant your wishes? Is there really someone like that?
BANDAGED BOY: H-hey, Suou-kun... seems like Kasu High's Captain Underwear has his sights set on you. What do you think of that? A-and you're still this calm? W-well, umm... lately I've been thinking about the Captain myself... they say it's odd for someone to be as much of a lone wolf as you are. M-my suggestion is to not make many enemies.
BANDAGED GIRL: Hey, Suou-kun, I'm really upset! Because of this weird sickness, they're saying the school festival might be cancelled... my final memory from high school life... and here I thought I'd be making that memory with you, Suou-kun...
HORROR-LOVING GIRL: Hee hee hee... I've been collecting scary stories for you. The one I've got today is especially scary. Lessee... in the courtyard, there's that bronze statue of the principal, right? Actually, when nobody's looking, that statue moves around the courtyard! KYAAAAA! GYAAAAA! NOOOOOO! Well, what do you think? Were you scared?
CHOICES:

[2] Hanaji means ...nosebleed.... She has that nickname because she got a nosebleed in the girls... locker room, and is also clumsy and falls down and gets nosebleeds a lot. Asacchi and Miipo are nicknames based on the pronounciation of their real names. The ...ma... in ...Mami... is usually read ...asa... ... hence, Asacchi, and Miipo is just a cutesy way to say ...Miho....
 

???: Heh, I knew you'd come here, Suou. Since this bad boy is here, I thought this would be the best place to wait for you.
(Saeko Takami: Tatsuya's instructor who transferred from St. Hermelin Academy. She is adored for her masculine, frank attitude and her educational policy of respecting the independence of her students.)
SAEKO-SENSEI: Future guidance... well, this isn't that formal, so relax. 
[Tatsuya turns around.]
SAEKO-SENSEI: Great, great. All right, you--have you decided what path you're going to take yet?
[Remember what decision you made here. It's not crucial, so you can feel free to answer honestly, but it does affect the way certain dialogue appears throughout the game.]
 

- I decided already. - I haven't decided yet

I DECIDED ALREADY: SAEKO-SENSEI: Okay! So you've been thinking as much as you've been running around aimlessly. Well? So are you going to college, or are you going to get a job? - I want to go to college. - I want to get a job.

I WANT TO GO TO COLLEGE: SAEKO-SENSEI: I see! So, do you have something you want to study? If you don...t know what you want to study in college, maybe you should think about it again. Do you really want to go to college? - Yeah, I really do want to go. - Actually, I don't really know what I should do.

I WANT TO GET A JOB: SAEKO-SENSEI: Do you have a job in mind? Maybe working with motorcycles? If you don...t know yet, maybe you should think about it some more. Do you really want to get a job? - Yeah, I really want to get a job. - Actually, I don't really know what I should do.

I HAVEN'T DECIDED YET: SAEKO-SENSEI: I see... well, it's okay to be a bit unsure right now. Isn't there anything you want to do? - Actually, there is something I want to do. - I don't have anything I want to do yet.

THERE IS SOMETHING I WANT TO DO: SAEKO-SENSEI: Oh, I see! So it seems you don't have a specific path in life picked out, but you're gonna chase down your dreams, right? But you can't live your whole life fantasizing, right? What do you think about that? - I'll definitely work to bring my dreams and life together. - I don't really think anything about it.

I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING I WANT TO DO YET: SAEKO-SENSEI: Hmmm...no direction in life and nothing you want to do, huh? But you can't say that forever, right? What do you think about that? - Well, at the same time I want to look for something I really want to do. - I don't really think anything about it.

IF YOU CHOOSE ANY OF THESE FOR YOUR 3RD ANSWER: - Yeah, I really do want to go. - Yeah, I really want to get a job. - I'll definitely work to bring my dreams and life together. SAEKO-SENSEI: I see! Well, if you're determined, you'll be fine! I'll be rooting for you, so hang in there!

IF YOU CHOOSE ANY OF THESE FOR YOUR 3RD ANSWER: - Actually, I don't really know what I should do. - I don't really think anything about it. - Well, at the same time I want to look for something I really want to do. SAEKO-SENSEI: I see... well, there's no hurry. Choose when you've thought about what you really want to do. When it comes to chasing down your dreams, it doesn't matter how quickly it happens.

SAEKO-SENSEI: Suou... why do you avoid people so much? You seem so sad it's hard to look at you...
[A blond girl enters.]
???: Ah, here you are! Wai! Hey! Tatsuya! Tatsuya! [He turns away.] Ah--aiya!
(Lisa Silverman: A student in Seven Sisters High School's class 2-C who hangs all over Tatsuya. She's a Caucasian, but she's fluent in Japanese and likes kung fu. She's the most popular girl at Sevens.)
SAEKO-SENSEI: Lisa! What's wrong? What's with the loud voice?
LISA: S-sorry-ah, Saeko-sensei! I have something really important to do! Um, would it be okay if I borrowed Tatusya for a bit?
SAEKO-SENSEI: Well, it can't be helped.[Tatsuya shakes his head frantically but she ignores him.] See you later, Suou!
[She leaves.]
LISA: Too bad, Tatsuya! Ah--aiya!
[She rips the badge off of his uniform]
LISA: I can't believe it! Why do you still have this emblem on you? Don...t you know about the curse?
[Tatsuya turns away.]
LISA: Geez! Even though I'm all worried about you... ah, but this is no time to be saying that kind of thing! Look, a challenge letter! A guy from Kasu High told me to give it to you!
[Tatsuya takes the letter.]
LISA: What's it say? "Attention Tatsuya Suou: We've got a girl from your school. If you value her life, come to the Sumaru Prison alone. ...Kasugayama High School Captain Michel Eikichi."
LISA: Haime? Is he serious? That's so retro... but there's a rumor that this guy's pretty strong! And on top of that, there's another rumor saying the people who put the curse on our school's emblem are associated with Kasu High... it definitely must have been this guy who did it!
[Tatsuya looks away.]
LISA: Tatsuya... you're thinking of going alone, aren't you?
[Pause]
LISA: I thought so. But do you know where Sumaru Prison is? I can take you there! Sitting here waiting to be hit with the curse sucks. Please, take me with you!
[FMV]
 

???: [girl] Ahhh... that was good.
(Miyabi Hanakouji: A student in Seven Sisters High School's class 2-C. She's the head of the Newspaper Club and is nicknamed "Hanaji." She's currently investigating the curse on the school emblem.)
???: Huh? [turns to another guy] Y-you guys! Is this girl really a fan of mine? She's not normal, dammit!
(Eikichi Mishina: A junior at Kasugayama High School who is stalking Tatsuya. He calls himself "Michel," and is a narcissistic gang leader and vocalist in a band.)
KEN [the droopy guy]: Hey, calm down, Michel-san!
TAKESHI [the dark-haired guy]: S-she is! And if you'll just wait a little longer, I'm sure that Sevens' Suou will show up too!
SHOGO [the other guy]: Ah? Shh shh shh!
EIKICHI: Oi...what're you saying? What's up with Suou? What the hell have you done?
LISA: Ohhh, so it's like that, huh?
EIKICHI: Suou?
LISA: It's you, isn't it? This "Michel Eikichi" guy?
EIKICHI: Yeeeees! Are you a fan of mine too, baby? That's right, I AM Michel-sama, the genius artist who all the ladies love to love! Hooooooou~!
LISA: You...you're excited?
EIKICHI: Yeah! This--
SHOGO: Umm... we're really sorry! We took Miyabi-san hostage ourselves and called out Suou-san!
TAKESHI: Michel-san, you're always trying to get the band off the ground, right? We were looking for members. For so long it's just been one vocalist...
KEN: So anyway, since Suou-san is said to be so popular...that's really encouraging, and...Michel-san, we thought you'd be happy...
EIKICHI: You--you guys...don't you know what happens when you break the law...?
SHOGO, KEN & TAKESHI: Yes, sir! "A real man isn...t afraid of anything!" We'll accept any punishment!
HANAJI: Umm...when you said you'd tell me about the mystery of the curse on the school's badge... that was a lie, right? Well then, if you'll please excuse me, I must be going.
LISA: [sigh] ... Let's go home too, Tatsuya. These guys are so lame it's making me cry.
EIKICHI: Wait, Suou! I apologize for the stupid thing they did. But for their sakes, I can't just let you leave like this... on my honor as Captain Death, I'll let you become a band member!
LISA: Captain Death?! Don't you mean Captain Underwear?
[Everyone freaks out.]
LISA: I heard a rumor! Aren't you the gang leader who keeps pulling people's pants down?
KEN: D-don't do it, Michel-san!
EIKICHI: "Underwear"...
TATSUYA: ?
LISA: What? This feeling...
EIKICHI: DON'T SAY UNDERWEAR TO MEEEEE!  My name is Eikichi Mishina! EIKICHI MISHINAAAAAAA!!

[Battle starts]
EIKICHI: C'mere, Death!
RHADAMANTHUS: I am Rhadamanthus...with my sword of judgment, I try the accused, as the magistrate of the Underworld. Now, I will judge the sins of your enemy!
LISA: Eeeeeeeek! Haime...no way!
EROS: I am Eros... I am one who lights the fire of love with the golden arrows I hold... I am a personification of you. I will become your strength.
EIKICHI: W-w-w-w-why the hell can you guys call up Death too?!
SOMEONE'S VOICE: Take my hand... do not fear...
TATSUYA: ...
VOLCANUS: I am thou... thou art I... I cometh from the sea of thy heart... I will wipe away the impurity in everything. I am Volcanus, one who carries hellfire in his hand!
[FMV]

[Philemon's Space]
PHILEMON: Welcome to the space between consciousness and unconsciouness. My name is Philemon. You've forgotten, yes?
LISA: Phile...mon...?
PHILEMON: The power you draw on is called your Persona. It is the power to summon another form of your Self that lurks in the depths of your heart, like a god or demon. The god in you falls in love... the demon in you is cruel. People live their lives wearing various masks. Even your current appearance is but one of many masks. Your Persona is also but one of many.
EIKICHI: That's...me? What the hell...
PHILEMON: From now on all of you, together with your Personae, will be betting your very existence and fighting for a greater purpose. Time is running out for you to be oblivious. Sumaru City has changed into a different world, one where rumors become reality. The fight to weave your own fate has begun!
[Everyone looks at each other.]
PHILEMON: I brought you here to tell you that. Now, with the aid of your Personae, you will break the chain of fated events...

[Sumaru Prison]
HANAJI: Eikichi-ku...I mean, Captain! Hang in there!
EIKICHI: No way... was I... dreaming?
LISA: Must have been... I had a dream too. It was about something like... Persona, right?
EIKICHI: And did you get that guy, too, the one talking about rumors becoming reality, and something about our future? That's too much of a coincidence...
LISA: Hey... have you tried the Joker Charm?
EIKICHI: That thing where you call yourself from your own cell phone and Joker-sama comes? Why would I?
LISA: If it was just a dream, then I want to make certain. If rumors really do become reality, then it means it wasn't just a dream.
EIKICHI: I'm gettin' off this ride now. That kinda thing just doesn't happen.
LISA: But if we proved it... then possibly--what, are you scared?
EIKICHI: Fine, I get it... but really, that dream totally gave me the creeps. Hope you're prepared to do an exorcism after you try this.
 

[some time later]
KEN: [sigh] Why us?
LISA: Ready to go? Joker-sama, Joker-sama, please come forth!
[Phone rings]
LISA: No way...
KEN, SHOGO, & TAKESHI: Now...
LISA: Who is this?
???: Behind you...
(JOKER: A mysterious masked person who is rumored to grant your heart's desire. Why he does this, and who or what he really is, are enigmas.)
JOKER: I am the Joker... That you who are afflicted by dreams brought me here is the final trump card.
[points]
JOKER: State your greatest wish...
HANAJI: This is bad! Hurry up and tell him your wish, please! There's a rumor that people who don't tell Joker-sama what they wish for are turned into Shadow People!
JOKER: The trump card has been spoiled...
[holds up skull]
JOKER: What you've gambled are your "dreaming hearts." The rules of this rite confer them upon me.
[Zaps Ken, Shogo, and Takeshi.]
KEN: A-AAAAAAAAAH...!
EIKICHI: Ken! Shogo! Takeshi! Y-you bastard! What the fuck did you do to them?!
JOKER: For those with little power, wishes are nothing but agony. I have released them from that pain. If their dreams won't come true, then it is better that they don't have them. These people are the shells of dreams--they have the ability to dream, and yet they cannot. They will soon be forgotten and become true shadows.
[points to Eikichi]
JOKER: Now to end this charade...I have another use for all of you.
LISA: He can't move! Is it fear?
JOKER: It's been a long time, Tatsuya Suou... I've been waiting for this moment, when all of you would call me forth!

[Enter battle.]
JOKER: As a memento of the Underworld, I'll let you see something interesting. Unlike your Personae, it's a real demon.
LISA: Monsters?
TATSUYA: ...
LISA: Fan ah! I...m not gonna die without even knowing what's going on!
EIKICHI: You guys...lend me your power! If the three of us take him on together, maybe we can do something!
[they perform Hydro Boost]
JOKER: Fusion magic, hmm? Good idea, but you're weak. At that level of skill, you would not be able to defeat me in a thousand years. Eikichi Mishina, Lisa Silverman, and you, who takes away dreams...it's time to die! The Wheel of Fortune cannot be stopped!

[scene change]
JOKER: That day...you haven't changed, have you? What kind of dreams did you have, standing over the slain dreams of others?
TATSUYA: ?
JOKER: Even if you hide it, I will know. You wanted [whatever you picked when talking to Saeko-sensei]. Isn't that right?
[The Joker starts laughing and shaking Tatsuya]
JOKER: Heh heh heh...AH HA HA HA! As if I would make your dreams come true! You must understand by now why I have appeared before the three of you...
EIKICHI: How the hell would we know?
LISA: We... is it because we... did something to you?
JOKER: You really don't remember?
[backs away]
JOKER: Ridiculous! How--how can this be?
[clutches head]
JOKER: What is the satisfaction in killing you when you don't remember?
[crosses room]
JOKER: You've escaped for the moment, but it will not be for long. My demonic followers shall hunt you down.
[pulls out flower]
JOKER: This Iris is my stamp upon you... you'll keep running. When you remember the sin you committed, it will be the time for me to complete my revenge!
[vanishes]
EIKICHI: Sorry, Ken... if... if I hadn't made you do that...
HANAJI: Um...Eikichi-ku... Captain, to whom are you speaking? 
LISA: She's totally forgotten them...

[Talk to people]
HANAJI: Um... my real name... please, I ask you to keep it secret from the Captain. Please...
LISA: I can't believe the Joker was really here, but why does he want revenge upon us?
EIKICHI: Aw, Ken...you wanted to become a boxing champ, right? I was gonna sing you a good luck theme song! [wipes eyes] I'm sorry... even though I promised to... if I hadn't made you do that... dammit!
KEN: My dream? Never mind... anything is fine... it doesn't matter...
SHOGO: Our boss's family business... he has take it over, but... why was that again?
TAKESHI: I wanted to become a doctor, but... I guess it's impossible... I don't want to think about anything... anymore...

[try to leave Sumaru Prison]
EIKICHI: Wait, Suou... you're planning to chase that bastard down, right? I'm going with you! I'm not gonna let him get away with this!
LISA: Wait a minute, you guys! The Joker's working with all those monster things, right? If we split up, we'll all be killed! You say you're gonna track him down, and you don't even have any idea where to start! We should ask for help from the police, or someone!
EIKICHI: Who'd believe a story like this! Whether it's with weapons or just whatever the hell we pick up, we gotta fuckin' kill that bastard, and it's gonna be dangerous!
HANAJI: If that's the case, I believe I can help you out. I've been collecting information about the Joker. However, I ask that you first find some way of protecting yourselves.
[They look at each other]
HANAJI: Speaking of which... there's a rumor I heard that the owner of the Kameya Alley ramen shop is a weapons smuggler. She's supposed to be a former female spy, or something. So that's the situation. Perhaps the three of you could just go and see if there's any truth in it?
LISA: Well, if rumors are becoming reality, it could be possible...I feel naked with just my Persona, so let's go check out that ramen shop!

[Talk to people]
LISA: Two people are better than one, and three people are safer than two! Hey, Tatsuya, shouldn't we all track down the Joker?
EIKICHI: Well, maybe we should do what that chick says...I'm no match for that bastard alone and unarmed. We're all connected by something we don't remember, so for now, until we kill that guy, let's call it a truce.
[Hanaji and the Three Stooges don't say anything different]
 

[Leave Sumaru Prison and go out into Hirasaka]

[Try to go into Kasu High]
EIKICHI: This is where I, Michel-sama, go to school--Kasugayama High School! Pretty soon we're having our school festival.

[People on the street in Hirasaka]
Basically, they just talk about how Kasu High sucked, with only delinquents and losers going there, and how it brought all of Hirasaka down. Lately, the school's image has changed for the better. The old guy in front of Kameya Alley talks about how popular the Joker Charm is with the young people.

[Shiraishi]
???: Hey, I-I ate it...the strawberry ramen... so let's do business...
(Tadashi-kun: An employee of the Kuzunoha Detective Agency, he yearns for violence and hard-boiled action. He is the slacker son of the Satomi Tadashi drugstore chain.)
SHIRAISHI LADY: But it's such an old story that I was involved in espionage...now I'm just an ordinary ramen shop owner. Why would I be selling weapons?
TADASHI-KUN: B-b-but...I know that "secret menu" is the password; I heard it from my boss and Tama at the detective agency. I know, I...m ordering the wrong thing! I'll take the anko gyouza, Mama. [3]

[Talk to characters]
EIKICHI: That lady, she's always teasing her customers...this is a waste of time. I'm sure of it, I've known her since I was a kid. We ain't gonna be buying weapons in a place like this.
LISA: Hey, Tatsuya, he said "secret menu!" That must be the password for buying the weapons. We should go ask this detective boss of his more about it.
ORDINARY GUY: [standing in the back] Wa ha ha! That kid is getting the wool pulled over his eyes. He really believes that silly story about her! Yeah, buddy, she was a spy, and I was a bodyguard! Wa ha ha!
TADASHI-KUN: Heh...I am a detective who lives in the shadows of the city. If you have a job for me, please come to the Kuzunoha Detective Agency. Here's a leaflet. We're located right here in Kameya Alley. 
SHIRAISHI LADY: Eh? You want weapons? You guys too...? Actually, I was the third wife of an Arab oil king, so I don't sell things like weapons.

[Toa Armory]
EIKICHI: Hey Suou, that lady seems pretty interested in me, huh? Will go you ask her about it for me?
STRANGE WOMAN: [by the door] Heh heh heh...until now I was made fun of and called a butch and a dyke, but now that's all over! I've finally become a man! What, you don't believe me? I...ve got proof, do you want to see it? It's attached just like any other guy's!
LISA: Lisa's Lecture on Chinese #1! "Leihou" means "good afternoon." You'll study it, right? I'm totally into Bruce Lee, so I started studying kung fu and Cantonese on my own. Saying "achou!" is cool, isn't it?
YOUNG GUY: Hey, hey, you're from Sevens, right? Isn't your school badge cursed? Since it's cursed, could you please take it somewhere else? On the other hand, if you hang around it makes me look braver. Heheheh...that's pretty cool.
TOA SHOPKEEPER: We're not ready to open yet. Go home.

[Satomi Tadashi]
LISA: Hey, Tatsuya, you're always carrying around that Zippo, right? You don't smoke, so why do you have it? I guess I'd understand if you went to Kasu High, but you don't. 
EIKICHI: Nobody at my school smokes, dammit! I'm really strict about that kinda thing. And there's Ken and Shogo, and Takeshi...
SATOMI SISTER: Hello and welcome to Satomi Tadashi! But we're not open yet, so please check back a little later!
SALARYMAN: Chalalala! Huh? This song won't get out of my head! Chalalalalalalalalala!
COMPOSER: I am a composer for a living, but it can be very tiring to be an artist. The more one sharpens and clears one's senses, the more one's weariness grows. In exchange, we can see things that ordinary people can't. For example, over there is a blue door that reads "Velvet Room" It is a mysterious door that only I can see--oh, it just flickered!

[Tominaga Chiropractic]
LISA: Mo hoh yi! Ew ew ew! I just got grabbed by that dirty old man over there! How revolting! He said it was for medical purposes, but I think he's just a pervert!
OLD GUY: There's nothing Dr. Tomi can't heal! When you get to be this age your hip always hurts! So I'm grateful, so grateful!
MR. TOMI: Goldfinger! Welcome to T's Chiropractic! I am the man with the gold finger, Mr. Tomi. So what do you want from me today? [If you pick "talk" he'll just talk about how he mastered chiropracty in America, etc.]
EIKICHI: So that lovely bald priest has taken responsibility for the body. Owww...when your shoulders are a bit stiff he'll give ya a massage, huh?
OLD GUY WITH ALZHEIMER'S: Ah, you must be Dr. Tomi. Doctor, there's this rumor that you can heal anything, so would you please heal my Alzheimers?

[Gatten Sushi]
EIKICHI: Ack! Hey hey hey! Everybody stop! There's no use in coming here, is there? Is there?! Right?!
???: What's going on, Eikichi? You back? If you are, then hurry up and start helpin' out!
[Kankichi Mishina: Eikichi's father, whose creed is "heart, skill, and fish." He's an extremely obstinate man who wants Eikichi to follow in his footsteps. He says he's a master of Karate, Judo, and Capoeira, but...]
[Eikichi turns around]
KANKICHI: What the hell?! A-a-a-absolutely not! What kinda act d'ya think you're pullin'?
EIKICHI: O-okay, D-daddy--I mean, F-Father, just lemme explain! T-this, uh...there's a reason for this! It's a...a masquerade rehearsal! R-right, Suou? A masquerade for the school festival! I don't always dress up like this!
KANKICHI: Practice for a masquerade? You...if you're lying... ya know what'll happen, right?! I...ve already told you that you're takin' over this place! You don't go around dressed like that normally, do ya?! It's not normal!
EIKICHI: Ha, hahaha...no way, Father! There'd be no reason for that, right? Well, Suou-kun, shall we go and practice now?

[Talk to characters afterwards]
EIKICHI: My dad's the only thing I can't handle. When I was a kid, my body would just freeze when I heard that scary voice of his...why? Well, he has eighteen dans in Karate, Judo, and Capoeira, you know? If I disobeyed him I'd be killed!
LISA: Haime? Seriously? Captain Underwear is this scared of his dad? Bu...ahahahahaha! Yaumei-shi! That's so weird! Practice for a masquerade? He always looks like that!
SUSHI NOBLEMAN: I'm a member of the Sushi Nobility. We come here to discuss sushi. What we're discussing now is the rumored topping that even I haven't seen. Even now Toro-san, the Sushi Baron, is keeping his ears open for more reliable tips.
???: There's something being hidden, and I'm a resourceful salesman who hears some pretty detailed rumors in his line of work. People like me are called "Rumormongers."
(Kenta Yokouchi: A graduate of Hermelin Academy. A successful door-to-door salesman who knows a lot about rumors. It seems like his Persona has helped him in his career.)
RUMORMONGER TORO: Rumors are really helpful with sales. So, if you hear any interesting ones, you have to tell me. In return I'll let you in on some of the rumors I...ve heard. [4]
COMPANY PRESIDENT: Gahaha! Finally I got the job as company president that I always wanted. I make my subordinates do all the work and I sit here eating sushi all afternoon! Now I know what it feels like to be great!

[Kuzunoha Detective Agency]
CAT STATUE: Welcome nya, Welcome nya, Welcome nya... [5]
EIKICHI: That scared the shit outta me! What the hell is that?
???: Please come in! Do you have a job for us?
(Tamaki-chan: While she attends a womens' college, she works part-time as a Devil Summoner. For some reason she's going out with Tadashi-kun.)
LISA: Uh, not exactly...actually, we want to ask you something. We'd like to see the head detective.
[scene change]
LISA: Aiya! Then the rumor about the secret menu and the Shiraishi lady selling weapons is--you made it all up just to tease that guy?
TAMAKI-CHAN: We didn't mean for it to spread as a rumor. Maybe Tadashi's been talking about it?
EIKICHI: Thought you'd say somethin' like that. So the whole thing about rumors becoming reality was a bunch of bull. If you think about the Joker, and how he was there from the start...
TAMAKI: Could you say that again? We, too, are investigating the Joker.
[Tatsuya explains.]
???: I see. All the strange cases there've been lately...if rumors can change reality, then everything that's been happening makes more sense...
(Chief Todoroki: He used to be a stupid, third-rate detective, but lately, in that sudden way that people change, his skills have improved immensely. He also works as a Devil Summoner.)
CHIEF TODOROKI: How about this? How about we spread the rumor "What is the Secret Menu?"
LISA: I see! If rumors become reality, then we can make rumors work for us for a change!
TODOROKI: We'll work hard for you, but first I'll have to officially take your case.

[Talk to people afterwards]
LISA: Hurry and spread a rumor. Under the circumstances, if we can do this, then shouldn't we?
EIKICHI: Under the circumstances, huh. Well, shouldn't we do this so we can track down that bastard faster?
TAMAKI: Talk to the chief and we'll take on jobs to spread rumors for you. It'll be fine; he's the type who's picky about details.
TODOROKI: It is necessary to make a moral distinction with everything. Remember that holds true even now. [If you pick the "talk" option, he talks about us being alone in the world but if rumors can come true and mysterious stuff like that, maybe that's not the case.]
[If you talk to him again, this time you can spread rumors when you pick the option "spread rumor." The only one you have at the moment is the Shiraishi lady selling weapons.]
TODOROKI: [after you choose to spread the rumor] You guys can go try it later. According to the rumor we'll be spreading, "banana chashu" is the password for the secret menu. [6]
TODOROKI: [talk to him again] Did you check at the Shiraishi yet? If it worked like it's supposed to, then it's proof enough we need to seriously investigate all these rumors.
TAMAKI: Rumor spread! We'll leave the rest up to you. Oh, and be sure Tadashi doesn't hear about the Secret Menu, okay?

[Velvet Room]
IGOR: Welcome to the Velvet Room. This is where one may call forth the various aspects of the Self...our master is Philemon-sama, whose existence is worth more than our own. We have been waiting here for you. I am Igor.
BELLADONNA: I am Belladonna. I sing a song to battle your dark spirits and praise your inner warrior... 
NANASHI: I am Nanashi. The piano I play opens the closed door of the heart... [7]
DEMON ARTIST: I am the Demon Artist. I am an artist who paints the demons and gods that live inside of you.
IGOR: The four of us are here to help you awaken your hearts and your Personae, and we await your command. From now on think of us as your friends...

[Talk to people afterwards]
IGOR: This room exists in the space between consciousness and unconciousness. For those with high sensitivity, the door is accessible. Well then, what is your business?
[If you pick the "talk" option with Igor he'll give you another menu of stuff to ask about, which is all about how to use Personae, tarot cards, etc. If you pick this by accident, the bottom right choice is "Don't ask about anything." The menu choices are covered in a FAQ.]
IGOR: Farewell. We shall part until you have more cards.
LISA: Philemon is their master? He said our Personae...Personae...I wonder how many we have! If we get those cards these people will help us! Hey, Tatsuya, try to pay attention!
EIKICHI: Hey, Suou, when you're here, do you kinda have the same feeling as when you called your Persona? I feel like something's welling up inside me, like power's flowing out...

[Shiraishi]
LISA: C'mon, hurry up and order! You lost at rock-paper-scissors.
EIKICHI: Geez, why do I hafta do it...hey, Lady, one banana chashu!
SHIRAISHI LADY: !!...I knew this day would come, Eikichi...well, as a farewell gift, I'll give you these weapons for free. Now...let's see...for Eikichi, the Standard Case. For the shorter guy, here's a Misericordia. For the little lady, I'll give you a Leather Glove. But an order is an order. You hafta eat what you asked for! If you don't, then this conversation never happened.
EIKICHI: Look, I ate it! And it sucked! Yuck!
HANAJI: Everyone, I've got some news! It seems there's a person who says he saw Principal Hanya and a masked person together somewhere!
LISA: Haime? Really? Maybe the masked person is the Joker! Tatsuya, let's go back to Sevens! Maybe Hannya knows something about the Joker!
HANAJI: I'll keep investigating the connection between rumors and the Joker.

[3] About anko gyoza: gyoza are little dumplings of Chinese origin that come either fried or steamed. They either have pork, shrimp, or vegetables inside. Anko is sweet red bean jam. Not a good combination.
[4] His name was "Chunky" in English, but it's "Toro" in Japanese. "Toro" refers to the fatty portion of meat, but is most often used to describe fatty tuna, which is quite popular in sushi.
[5] Banana chashu is a sort of bastard type of ramen. Well, chashu ramen is a bowl of ramen with five or six thin round slices of chashu pork on it. So one can imagine that banana chashu is ramen with slices of banana on it.
[6] Nya is the Japanese version of ...meow....
[7] "Nanashi" means "Nameless".